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What happens when a man spends his entire life building a career, providing for his family, and doing everything he's supposed to do, only to realize he feels completely alone?
In this episode of Everyday Ancestral, I sit down with Dr. Baruch Halevi, a logotherapist, men's coach, former congregational rabbi, and founder of men's peer groups, to explore why so many men are struggling with loneliness, identity, and purpose. We talk about what traditional communities understood about brotherhood, why modern men have become increasingly disconnected, and how finding meaning beyond money and achievement can change the way we live.
This is also a deeply personal conversation. Baruch lost both his father and grandmother to suicide, experiences that shaped his mission to help men find connection and meaning in their lives. Drawing on the work of Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, his own life transitions, and years of working with men, he explains why having a purpose bigger than yourself and a community of people who truly know you matters so much.
Why This Matters to You
Successful on paper but feeling disconnected? Baruch explains that many men spend the first half of their lives focused on careers, financial security, and providing for their families. Those are meaningful responsibilities, but somewhere along the way, friendships and community often fall to the bottom of the list. When work slows down or circumstances change, men can discover that the relationships they assumed were there never developed beyond their professional lives.
Struggling to find your purpose beyond work? Baruch draws on Viktor Frankl's logotherapy and the idea that having a meaningful "why" helps us navigate life's challenges. He shares how his father's sense of self-worth became tied to financial success, leaving him unable to see his value beyond the numbers. Baruch challenges men to ask whether money, status, fitness, and achievement are tools for living a meaningful life or have become the purpose of life itself.
Finding it difficult to talk about what you're feeling? Baruch believes many men have never been taught how to identify and express their emotions. Anger, for example, may be easier to express than sadness, shame, or fear. He explains how learning to recognize what's underneath our reactions and having trusted men who can listen without judgment can help us communicate more openly.
Too busy for friendships? This part of the conversation hit home for me. Between being a husband, father, business owner, and taking care of my health, making time for male friendships can feel nearly impossible. Baruch challenged that thinking. He argues that we make time for what we value, and that prioritizing meaningful relationships isn't separate from being a good husband or father. It can actually support us in showing up better for the people who depend on us.
Wondering what we're missing from ancestral communities? Baruch points to the importance of men learning from other men through shared experiences, mentorship, and rites of passage. Traditional communities created opportunities for younger generations to be seen, challenged, and supported. Today, many boys and men lack those relationships. We discuss how intentional men's groups, meaningful conversations, and recognizing the strengths in younger men can help rebuild some of what we've lost.
Actionable Advice
Make your relationships a priority. Stop waiting for friendship to happen when your schedule clears. Reach out to someone you value, put time together on the calendar, and treat that commitment with the same respect you'd give a work meeting or family obligation.
Define your worth beyond your achievements. Ask yourself who you are without your job title, income, possessions, or professional accomplishments. Baruch encourages men to develop an identity rooted in values, relationships, and purpose rather than external measurements of success.
Learn to express what's underneath your emotions. The next time you feel angry or frustrated, ask yourself what else might be happening. Is there sadness, fear, embarrassment, or disappointment beneath the surface? Practice putting those feelings into words with someone you trust.
Find a community where you can be honest. Whether it's a men's peer group or a few trusted friends, seek relationships where you can talk openly about your life without needing to impress anyone. Baruch emphasizes the importance of consistency, confidentiality, and showing up for one another.
Bring mentorship and meaningful challenges back into family life. Create opportunities for younger people to learn from your example. Baruch shares how he marked his sons' transition toward manhood by helping them face fears and inviting other men to recognize their strengths. The larger lesson is to offer encouragement, model values, and help children develop confidence through appropriate challenges and support.
Baruch's journey has been shaped by both loss and transformation. After losing his father and grandmother to suicide, he became deeply committed to understanding how people find meaning in suffering. His work as a rabbi, his study of Viktor Frankl's logotherapy, and his own struggles with identity eventually led him to leave congregational leadership and pursue a different calling. Today, through his men's peer groups, his book The Guy in the Glass, and the 13 Minutes Mission, he is helping men reconnect with purpose, community, and a sense of worth that goes far beyond what they accomplish.
Links & Resources to Explore
Our ancestors understood something we've largely forgotten: we weren't meant to do life alone. We need people who know us beyond our accomplishments, who will challenge us when we're hiding, and who will stand beside us when life gets difficult. Start by reaching out to one friend, having one honest conversation, or asking yourself what truly gives your life meaning. Listen to the full episode for a powerful discussion about brotherhood, purpose, and why rebuilding genuine human connection may be one of the most important things we can do for ourselves and our families.
Content note: This episode includes discussion of suicide and family loss. If you or someone you know needs immediate emotional support in the United States, call or text 988. Outside the United States, visit findahelpline.com for local support resources.
This episode is for general information only and is not medical advice. Nothing here is intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any condition. Talk to your doctor before making changes to your care.
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